It's just one thing after another.
Around the end of that series of weather events we refer to as summer, the palatial wonky caravan was
eventually persuaded onto the travellers site in Kirby Cane. Rumoured to be a safe park-up that had been used for several
years, with no apparent owner, and given that the immediate neighbours good freinds we were reasonably comfortable with giving
the trailer a well earned rest while we turned our attention back to dealing with the great Dragon Wharf saga.
Faster than it takes a pint guiness to settle the entire site had been subjected the indignity of attemps
at reasonableness from the local authority. They had formed a conspirital nightmare in the form of a public meeting, to
decide the fate of this particular community. The outcome of which inevitably would lead to the removal of travellers
from the area.
As sure as mad squirels eat tractors there followed a swift torrent of sugar-coated total bollocks.
Fuelled by the belief that some ancient court order that had never been issued was somehow enforceable(remember
this kids, if it's not put in your hand it don't exist) the council applied various forms of pressure onto both the hapless
landowner and the earstwile tribe of low-impact lifestyle advocates.
Even our own Doctor Risotto was prised away from pressing business in the Pottergate Tavern for the
purpose of driving the truck!
So the dialogue ensues.
Dates are set and agreed to, words are exchanged between the good doctor, the traveller liason
officer(ironicaly he never says anything),the local environmental health officer(claims to be head of department, but we suspect
it to be a one man department)and some bloke from the planning department.
Hear are some of the highlights of the exchanges.
Tony(phone)"If you're not off the site by monday I'll treat your things as being abandoned and have
them removed"
The Doctor"Er, You Can't do that"
Tony"Well I'm prepared to take responsibility"
Unfortunately at this time the doctor puts his back out while attempting to tilt the cab on the mighty
wonky big red truck. Speaks to Tony
"Laid up at the moment with a bad back, can't move for a few days"
Tony"Thats fair enough, I'll inform the landowner"
In the meantime it turns out that Tony Cook has indeed been telling people that things on the site are
abandoned. The subsequent result of this is that a load of our production stuff goes missing(donations of old broadcast stuff,
dv cams, pc's, laptops, projectors, satelite modems, cash, beer etc,any condition, greatly appreciated, wonkytv@hotmail.com).
Our next tactic is to double padlock the gates of the site(remember, no court papers have ever actually
been served), and inform SNC of what has happened.
The caravan has obviously had enough at this point and starts driving around the countryside on it's
own.
"I see little to be gained in continuing this dialogue. SNC has been
transparent in its
involvement" Tony Cooke(e-mail)
"I don't give a f*ck what you do" Planning bloke(in person)
and so on to Arminghall................
